school service [a poetic break 2)

January 30, 2008 at 9:55 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

school service

blame(d for) the decline of the obesity epidemic

pilot       (in the pipeline)                  fight the flab wireless-based children

2 palestinians infiltrate a school = th()rough attendance

                        – well-armed cells of militants biologically studied –

“lil angel” is consistently missed

brandishing a bottle on raunchy internet show

‘Close up her ample cleavage!’ – ‘She should be serving the people of Henley!’

                             ne0 Nazis link arms                (all three teachers are male)

pastoral care pretend to be religious pretend to be jewish? – Holocaust Education. Trust. – ‘So totally jewish!’ my freaky Britney faking religion

chart toppers Clock the madrasah – ‘psssst! Offer them the imam!’

this is the year £2008

– makes you pew:

                        thousands of parents suffer from KIDs    =    evaluation for misbehaving

DISCIPLINEINDISCIPLINE – get it into their heads create an ethos plaque quoting plaques chosen at random     }likely to be disappointed; adopt controversy.

 

                           Courses/corpses divided into 2 camps

                                     How many will be left?

 

Remember to avoid expellatory grammar; most people got it and kept passing it along for fun – school links to gay pornography site [links appear = play/say Wii] – Christian molestation

                                        handcuffed five year olds school-cuffed just rambling and confused

                        Pick up at school; giving is not an impulse

Launch the proto ty P.E.

   (Distribution was far more widespread                  )

white t-shirts – insane and moral ly – are see through (black with pink) – GirlsActive

Bargain = school apartheid/bottoms instead of pleated skirts

‘ENTER THEIR CHILDREN FOR TESTS!’ non-hood wearing yobs just Nod Like the head

instil some enthusiasm in negative stereotypes – they are as commonplace as organic chicken

parents with sharp elbows move on to plan B = sudden longing

fail to comply          fail to learn          fail to lie           fail to              fail

 

inspire people as they do their business

take extra curricular activities = generosity classes = prevent naming rights/money flooding

men’s bathrooms (the technology hub) promote philanthropy refuse {direct social impact}

            – plopped £25,000.

Zap Porn Images (dynamism for kids) = a Fagin-style crime racket

                                                            Public denouncement/private exaltation

 

            stabbed + shot =

            shot + killed =

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Annotations [a poetic break]

January 30, 2008 at 9:51 am (Uncategorized)

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The Flight of the Conchords Rises From the Ashes of The Mighty Boosh

January 25, 2008 at 11:53 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

It is very important from the outset that you do not think I am drawing any comparisons between the comedy ‘The Mighty Boosh’ and the comedy ‘The Flight of the Conchords’. Apart from them being both primarily focused on a duo and a use of music within the programmes (much more in ‘TFotC’), they are completely different comedies.

The only reason I have given this post such a title is because I felt bad leaving you with a rather negative review of the third series of The Mighty Boosh and thought it was only right I give you something else to watch. And, in my humble opinion, I am giving you something that is absolutely incredible! I am a legend. You’re welcome.

Okay, so while The Mighty Boosh lies on BBC Three, The Flight of the Conchords was aired about five months ago on BBC Four, as well as being played on HBO (arguably USA’s most respected television channel in terms of quality) . It is based on a band called Flight of The Conchords, which consists of two men from New Zealand (Bret and Jermaine), who have travelled to the USA to make it big. With an incompetent manager, called Murray, who also works in the tiny building that is the New Zealand Consulate, and only one disturbing fan, called Mel, each episode focuses on both their attempts to succeed as  a band and their own lives.

I’m not going to go too much into what happens in each episode and so forth, as I find that nothing ruins comedy more than an actual essay about it! However, each episode contains brilliant storylines that cover the awkward, slightly bizarre lives of these few characters in New York. The humour ranges from intelligent, subtle insights into the idiosyncratic nature of everyday life to fantastic surreal images and concepts.

Furthermore, every episode is capped off with at least two songs interwoven within the plot that are hilarious, but also very good songs! There is no doubt that with serious lyrics they would be great tracks. They achieve a great balance that will have you laughing when you hear them (and see the brilliant music videos!) and have you singing them later on as you walk down the street. I warn you though, singing these songs will make you look quite weird to passers by as you sing about mermaids, songs in french, and lines like, ‘oh pretty prince of parties, where’d you get your clothes? They’re made of snow!’

This comedy achieves the perfect balance of restrained moments that display great insight into everyday life and the sense of surreal that can be found within the mundane. The directing is superb and the whole comedy achieves aural and visual originality.

Whether you are a fan of the humour in The Office, The Mighty Boosh, The IT Crowd, The Peep Show or whatever other cutting edge comedies have existed over the past ten years, you are bound to find something you love in The Flight of the Conchords. I would even go far to say you end up preferring it to the great array of comedies it arises from.

While The Office and Extras end and The Mighty Boosh and The Peep show grow stagnant, the rise of The Flight of the Conchords ensures there is still a comedy out there for everyone to love.

The DVD of their first series is available to buy along with all of their music. The songs from the series can also be viewed on YouTube, so you can see how right I am first and then buy the DVD!

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How the Mighty Boosh has fallen

January 16, 2008 at 8:01 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

‘Chapter 3, his difficult third series, it’s gonna get criticised whatever, isn’t it? After all the good he did in one and two…He should just leave it there.’

 Ricky Gervais said this in regards to the Bible during his first stand up tour, ‘Animals’, obviously joking about the reception a third series of The Office would receive. However, I believe that Gervais may have been onto something, especially with regards to The Mighty Boosh.

Now, this isn’t going to be an article that thoroughly slates The Mighty Boosh, saying they have betrayed everything which they stood for, everything that made them great. I’m not going to idolize the past making any future episodes impossible to match up. The Mighty Boosh, just like any comedy, band etc, will undoubtedly change, becoming different to that which you originally fell in love with.

I also don’t want you to think I am just being overly negative in what I say about The Mighty Boosh. I always try and see the best in programmes, and am often the last one to actually admit that they are or have become poor. I insisted on seeing Pirates and the Caribbean 3 three times before admitting it was actually not that good, just because I didn’t like admitting it had slipped from the quality of the first installment.

I feel this flaw then makes my negative criticisms more valid as they are against my nature.

However, the third series of The Mighty Boosh just was not good. Simple. Fact. 

I, being a stereotypical student, watched Boosh countlessly on DVD and quoted it without pause in everyday conversation; with friends I could have entire conversations constructed of Booshisms. So, like every other student, when I heard Boosh was returning with a third series I was giddy with joy. I wouldn’t listen to the suggestions it might be bad.

‘Hush!’ I would say to the detractor, ‘You do not question whether Father Christmas will have a bad year. Then thou shall not question the Boosh!’

They would then nod, admiring my wisdom.

(this conversation is paraphrased)

 

However, when  I watched the first few episodes, as hard as I tried to love them and be the quintessential student, I couldn’t help feeling a few nagging doubts. Rehashed characters re-emerged, old jokes were repeated and repeated. It wasn’t really that different to other episodes, but it just didn’t seem to have as much or do it…properly.

There are undoubtedly good points in the series. Vince and Howard still have a brilliant relationship, constantly making hilarious bizarre references to each other, and Episode 3 about crimping is very funny. At this point, with news that there would be a new character next week, I really thought the series would take off, making new classics like ‘Nanageddon’, ‘The Legend of Old Gregg’, and ‘Mutants’. I was wrong.

A lot of what made Boosh so great disappears in this series. Before, every episode was incredibly plot driven: they usually had to go somewhere, do something, usually in bizarre landscapes. For example, in ‘Tundra’ they go to the Arctic Tundra to get the Egg of Mantumbi, in ‘Jungle’ they need to find Tommy to stop Dixon Bainbridge buying the zoo, in ‘Bollo’ Howard goes to monkey hell and Vince tries to save him, in ‘Nanageddon’ they release the worst ever demon, ‘Nanatoo’, and have to stop it, in ‘The Call of The Yeti’ they go on holiday and try to find the legendary Yeti creature. I have included all these examples (and I could go on) to really emphasise the importance of adventure and storyline within the Boosh.

However, apart from Episode 2, which is one of the best in the series, plots do not really exist; loose story-lines appear to be superfluous, an irrelevant necessity in order that they can make random remarks and rehash old jokes and one-liners. One episode is literally based around them having a party and not once in the entire series do they leave their fashionista neighbourhood of Shoreditch.

Songs, which used to be in nearly every episode, are now virtually non-existent and, apart from ‘Future Sailors’, appear to be unoriginal and unintelligent. The most embarrassing moment I found was when Bollo and Naboo sang a drugs ballad (there is another massive drug joke when they cook the hash cakes in the style of a cooking show. I know the audience tends to be students, but come on guys! This just seemed like aging men trying a bit too hard!)

Characters are equally low in abundance. In the previous series, there are usually one or two characters in every single episode: ‘The Legend of Old Gregg’ features Old Gregg (of course) and all the sailors in the pub, ‘Bollo’ has the monkeys who rule monkey hell and Death, ‘Jungle’ has Tommy Nooka, a psychadelic guitar playing guru and the mod-wolves. In the entire third series there are about four new characters, two in the final episode, a Crack Fox and Noel Fielding as a rudeboy. Instead, they constantly insist on bringing back old characters: The Hitcher, the Spirit of Jazz (although they change his name) and the Shaman posse. 

It seems as if they couldn’t come up with anything new and so they regurgitated the same stuff, which consequently becomes unfunny and annoying. Catchphrases start to appear like Tony Harrison’s, ‘This is an outrage!’ and the characters turn into caricatures. The relationship of Vince being cool and Howard being a bit geeky is completely polarised in this series with Vince being paraded as some sort of Camden King while we are constantly reminded that Howard likes jazz and that’s not ‘cool’. Furthermore, it is overly self-referential, constantly name-dropping – The Horrors, living in Shoreditch etc – which firmly routes it within the real, something the Boosh always appeared to react against.

The problem is as if Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett have become too aware of the type of people that find it funny and why, and so they end up pushing all these elements too far: they crimp every five seconds, Vince only ever wears the most extreme lycra outfits, lines that were once funny are reiterated and characters are reused. As a result, Boosh seems to lose any sense of balance and goes from something that is cutting edge and cool to something that is trying too hard to be cutting edge and cool. In the third series Boosh seems to turn into a poor imitation of itself.

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Deserved Hype for the Hype Machine

January 9, 2008 at 10:48 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

hype-machine-logo.jpgThe quest for free music and sharing music could be seen as starting, or really taking force, with the tape, sitting next to the radio and pressing record, trying to stop the recording before the DJ started speaking. Then you would share your tapes, your compiled playlists, with friends allowing them to record it onto their own tape player. Of course, I may be ignoring times even before this when people perhaps had managed to get a copy of the musical manuscript for Mozart’s latest hit! Perhaps not.

 
Anyway, over recent years, this phenomena could be said to have truly taken off in an ever increasing movement, jumping from one method to another, always one step ahead of that bumbling park warden known as the Copyright Law!
 
Since it moved onto the internet, via programs such as Napster and later on Limewire, there has been an unending way of getting music by all your favourite artists, and I must say that I am a firm favourite of the current method: the musical blog.
 
Essentially, as a brief summary, there are infinite blogs where people talk about all types of artists and bands and make them available to download. This is particularly useful for finding more artists that you might like, but have never heard before. Brief descriptions on all the tracks allow you to gauge whether you might like it or not before you download. Moreover, quite often blogs will deal with one specific type of music and so if you find one you like it becomes a great source for continually downloading music.
 
However, there are of course problems. For one, finding all the good blogs for you can be difficult and long. Also, while descriptions allow you to perhaps gauge slightly if you will like a song or not, it is still a risky business; you will undoubtedly download a lot of rubbish songs that clutter up your disk space and waste your time downloading! Furthermore, blogs do not tend to have a search function allowing you to find a specific artist you are looking for. In this case, you can use the blog search function on google, but this tends to either give you spanish sites or just a place where you can buy them etc. By the time you might find the artist you are looking for, the download link may have expired. Not good enough!
 
And so, it is my great honour to introduce  The Hype Machine! (applause)
 
The Hype Machine has been around for quite a bit of time now, but still people don’t know about it, so I think it’s time I make it known. What the Hype Machine allows you to do is type in a band and then it will search thousands and thousands of blogs for you, providing you with what songs are available by the band and the link to the blog where you can download it. Therefore, you are not limited to just whatever the blogs give you, but can search the blogs for what you want.
 
And now, after recent developments, you can actually play the song on the Hype Machine, so if it’s a song you haven’t heard before, you can see if you like it. What more could be wanted? Even its advertising space is given to cool advertisers like American Apparel and the promotion of call new independent films.
 
It is brilliant!
 
Now, I am not going to get into an argument here regarding whether this is right, whether it is taking money away from the musicians and so forth; I will be discussing that in another entry shortly. All I want to do, is show those who do like to download free music (which is pretty much everyone!), that there is a fantastic little world called Hype Machine.
 
It’s logo is of a tuba or some brass instrument emitting a speech bubble with a heart in it and I’ve got to say that completely reflects my sentiments regarding the Hype Machine!
 
It has been nominated for a PLUG award so please see how great it is and vote! 
 
www.hypem.com
 

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Another Reason To Like Chocolate

January 8, 2008 at 7:28 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

                                  ccc.gif                                            240px-megatron.jpg 

If Daft Punk and Justice were Transformers, Daft Punk would be Optimus Prime and Justice would be Megatron. Bear with me, this has a point! What I am saying is that while they are undoubtedly similar, Justice is just that bit darker, meaner, dirtier, fuller, bigger (in bass) and, to be perfectly frank, a little bit cooler. Optimus Prime is amazing, but you can’t help but looking in awe at the huge, dark mass that is Megatron. 

Now, imagine Megatron doesn’t just have one arm-mounted fusion cannon that can destroy a city with one blast, but two. He doesn’t just have a secondary weapon barrel on his back, but five. Instead of turning into a Walther P38 gun, he turns into .44 Caliber Magnum. Basically, imagine a meaner, darker, heavier, and, let’s face it, even cooler version of Megatron. 

Well, this is what Chewy Chocolate Cookies do when they remix Justice. 

‘The Party’ by Justice feat. Uffie, is a fantastic song by itself, a great collaboration between two artists, but with Chewy Chocolate Cookies (CCC) it becomes more concise, thicker and dirtier. It is truly brilliant! And the same can be said about their remix of Genesis. They give parts that simply make the original Megatron look like a sissy. 

Nor does it stop there. So far, CCC have remixed the likes of Robyn, The Cazals, The Whip, Plastic Operator, Simian Mobile Disco, Chromeo and everyone of them becomes darker, beefier, meaner and better, all of them growing into little Megatrons themselves. 

It is like they are creating an army of Megatrons lead by the orignial Megatron that has even more weapons than before. Now who wouldn’t love that?

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